I woke up this morning at 5:30, prepared to write something awesome. I am almost finished reading Stephen King’s book on writing and feeling like I owe it to him to step up my game. I also realize, I have a lot to learn.
Oliver woke up at 5:45, he is on the fast track to my hit list. I am now listening to Mickey Mouse chase a grasshopper and watching Oliver walk around bull legged due to the giant turd he just worked out in the front room. My dog is butt scooting across the floor, which is even more distracting. Note to self: Call vet today.
Oh life, I am a mom. Diaper changed, let’s see if we can move on. Oliver has a semi obsession with whacking my keyboard while I type. Let’s give it a whirl.
I was a troubled teen, usually in trouble, and I dropped out of school at fifteen. At sixteen, I started an apprenticeship in hairdressing and that was my career for the next twenty years. It was good career and it fed my creativity.
These days, I spend about a hundred percent more time writing then I did before. Since I was little girl and read my first novel, I have dreamed of sitting at a desk with a window over looking a pond. Typewriter in front of me with a bottomless cup of coffee at my right hand. Of course today, instead of a typewriter (I am far too dependant on spell check) you would see the soft electric glow of an apple and more likely a bottomless cup of tea, too much coffee makes me sketchy.
When Oliver was born, my husband and I agreed to close my business. Ryan’s company was doing well, and we were in a place I could stay home and take care of the kids. It was surreal. A part of me that was validated by working was left in limbo and a part of me was so darn happy about never having to punch the clock again. Devoting my days to my boys that I cherish beyond words.
Now, embracing my role of full-time mom, I take care of my boys and have my house up to my standards. Note: In order to get there, I had to lower my standards. I am also writing. In an industry that is filled with geniuses, backed by masters degrees and years of training. I feel like I’m trying to write a thesis on my first day of kindergarten, but sometimes little dreams that burn the midnight oil in your heart, just won’t shut up. I feel like God has creaked open a door in my life
I have always said that if my lack of education ever held me back in life, that I would go back to school. Sometimes I wish I would just stop talking. Now faced with that very situation, I am filled with a sense of impending dread. It has been years since I sat behind a desk. I am almost 40 (but not quite) and will spend the better part of the next two decades devoted to raising my children. The thing is though, at fifty, I can look back at my life with a sense of regret, or a sense of knowing I fulfilled my dreams. Even if I never write a piece credible enough to be published, wouldn’t it be better to know that I followed my heart?
It’s time to wrap this up, I just found Oliver carrying around a bottle of bleach (parent of the year). I have not quite worked out balancing writing and parenting, advice welcomed.
I love this. So so so stinking true. What is it with visions of a peaceful writing area? Mine was always a coffeeshop in the city, or a cozy brownstone in downtown NYC. So realistic, lol. I even wrote a ‘story’ once about a single girl in that cozy brownstone, sitting at the window, with her cup of tea, writing. It wasn’t really a story, because nothing happened, but it would have been so awesome if that would be real in my life. Now I write during nap time, or while yelling at the kids to go play outside so I can have some quiet
Love the lowered standards part. Yup! I don’t sort my laundry, or fold clean clothes or bathe my kids every day. My MIL I think is sort of horrified by me, ha!
I hear you there!! Stephen king said A writer needs a place they can shut the door to write. Maybe that will happen when the baby is in school! Thanks for the comment.
Hey, my writer friend, daughter-in-law…..I think you are doing amazing!
Being able to be home when our children are young is a true blessing (especially these days), but it does mean that you are the boss, nurse, referee, social planner, chief cook and bottle washer and it isn’t always a piece of cake to organize everything (or even to feel like organizing everything) and then again we have hormones and can at times feel a little isolated if we are home alone too much (the mind starts to do crazy things). So I think it is wonderful you are pursuing this writing outlet. If you go back to school ~ you will love it because you will be learning something you are passionate about, but of course it is always a little scary before we step into any new challenge, but I know (in my knower) that you can do it. You have some great people in your life …. lean on them for encouragement and comfort as they lean on you when in need….that’s what friends are for. Every day we wake up is a new day with so much potential ~ go for it! I for one will cheer you on.
Love Donna
Thank you Donna, you are such a great encouragement in my life. xo
My friend, this is amazing. I am so proud of you for pushing through on your dreams. You are doing it … Beautiful! xo
Thanks Idelette. You are such a great friend and mentor. Love you to bits. xo
Great job Daniela! You inspire me… I, just like you have a dream to be a writer but I need to push through my many fears and doubts. You are doing AMAZING, I love that you are authentic, xo!
Beautiful… don’t ever give up on the dreams that won’t shut up… that’s how you know they require more attention and are meant to be pursued! Your kids need you to live out your dreams, so they can see a woman taking risks, trusting God with her dreams, seeking to bless the world beyond your humble home. And I personally think credentials are not the only way. It’s the cliche of “it’s who you know” and in our case, you know the God and Creator of the universe. You may have heard the saying before, “God doesn’t call the qualified/equipped, He qualifies/equips those he calls.”
I agree, I never want to tell my kids I didn’t follow my dreams because I was afraid. What would that teach them?
Thank you friend.