I often find myself staring blankly into space. I know there has to be a hundred important things I should be doing at this moment, but thankfully, I can recall none. So I curl up on the couch with my two-year old to watch an episode of Curious George.
Then I start getting random texts.
“Did you send that important email?”
Oh yeah!! I send email.
Oliver would like some milk, but we are out. So I water down half and half; he actually doesn’t mind it.
I get a stern text from my cell phone provider that disconnection is imminent. I pop online and pay the bill. I feel quite responsible.
I have gotten by like this for years. I hear people declare they could not get through their life without lists. I admire these people, but then feel slightly annoyed at their organization skills. I relate this feeling to seeing a pencil thin women holding a two day old baby and realizing it is hers. Seriously? I still look pregnant from my almost three year old. But, just as flat bellies come naturally to some women, lists and personal organization seem to drive others.
Can this level of organization be learned? Or is it some divine gift handed out at conception.
I can just see it:
“You there!! Sally! You shall be divinely organized and have a super flat stomach after birth .Yay for you!!!! High fives!”
“Daniela? I’m sorry. You will not have a super flat stomach…ever, and will spend a good part of your life walking in circles wondering what you should be doing while wearing Spanx, but you will have nice hair and a fair bit of wit and charm. That should help you through it. Good luck!”
Okay, maybe I do not need divine gifting to be a list writer. It could be a little less denial/procrastination/laziness, but I feel like if I sat down and actually started writing down all the things I am supposed to be getting done or need to get done, I would never stop writing and subsequently end up in the fetal position.
Plus, if I do confess to all the duties I have been shunting on paper, I would be committed to see them through in a timely, responsible fashion. Since I am not currently a list keeper so “I forgot” is a legit excuse. If I had one, the best I could do would be “I ignored that one because I didn’t feel like it” or maybe “I couldn’t read my hand writing…” The last one could definitely be true also, but still lame.
But, then again, this is what my mental list is currently doing for me:
I was hoping to find some level of acceptance about who I am, but while writing this, I recieved an email from my ten year olds teacher. Owen has either failed to hand in homework, or it has been late all week. She will be monitoring his written agenda to make sure appropriate ToDo’s are recorded ( I am not kidding, that is what she said).
Cue eye twitch. My chaos, is becoming my kids chaos. That stinks. Could that email have corresponded with this post more creepily? Is this God telling me if I don’t write lists, then Owen will become a drop out bum? That one day, when he is a man, he will say “I could have been so much more, if only my mom had wrote lists, showing me the importance of personal organization? I never really had a chance..” he then stares off whistfully; with a small tear in the corner of eye as he and turns to serve his next customer their fries and burger…he wouldn’t be a total bum, he would have a job.
The thought of writing a list scares the crap out of me, but for my boys, I could try..
And if I did, I think I would need this super fab Kate Spade notepad. Maybe pretty lists would be less scary. I can see myself whipping this out at the grocery store. All divinely organized women with super flat bellies would be nodding approval at my stylish ToDo List, willing to overlook that Oliver and I are still in our pyjamas.
Kate Spade Polka-Dot Small Notepad, $8 @ shopbymonika.com
Now, I am almost scared to ask….are you a list writer? Or live in denial like me? Did you become a list writer after years of wandering in circles, or have you always been this way? Please, enlighten me! Do I have hope?